Kaleb's Convo last night..

Last night, Kaleb came up to me balling saying "Mom, I had a bad thought"...just crying his little eyes out. So I asked him what was wrong, what it was that he was thinking that was making him cry like that. He told me he had thought about dying and it made him sad. He was afraid that because he had thought about dying that he would die, as a result!!!!

Wow-how hard it was not to start crying right there with him. So, I sat him on my lap and told him that we would all die one day, but no time soon. That we were too young to die and that we had a lot of living left to do.

He asked me if doing certain things, saying certain things, or thinking certain things would make you die. He even asked me if wearing certain things would make you die..He told me he remembered me screaming when grandpa died and me pumping grandpa's chest. (I didn't think he saw that-) Tears started to fall immediately.

How do you explain death to a 5 year old? I told him no, that those kinds of things would not make you die. That some people are sick, that grandpa had a bad heart, but that we would be old when we died..that he would grow up, and have children-then grandchildren of his own.

I thought I had been doing some pretty good evaluating of my self, my life...until he came up to me crying saying this to me. A 5 year old should never be troubled with something like that.
It made all the petty things I've been pondering on fall away-put me in check instantly.

I have a lot of living to do. I have lost a lot of time.